Oh to be Sixteen again!

So there I was a 29 year old guy playing "DJ" (I use the term very loosely) for a bunch of sixteen year old girls and I could only think man music has change. They have names like Get Low, SaltShaker, Booty Meat, Freaky Girl, what happened to the good old days of rap music when they talked about " bustin a cap in yo a$$" or "or rolling down the street smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice, or shankin a "blood" due to mismatching colors, (those gangters were really into fashion they never mixed their colors) when did the rap world sell out and become this piece of "booty meat" it has today. So here is my plea! Please bring back the days when I could understand rap and connect with what they were saying to me. I miss those days-

DJ Whitey White is out audi 5000 - peace

Number of the Day: .01 (I think its underappreciated dont you?)

Animal of the Day: King Cobra
Ophiophagus hannah

Lost in the Really Real World...

I remember a line from the movie "The Crow" where this guy has been duct taped into his car and is being lined with Grenades by a guy he killed who has now come back for Vengeance and as he realizing he is going to die he starts saying over and over "this doesn't happen in the really real world man, this doesn't happen in the really real world." So today's topic will be the reality of certain things we like to think don't happen in the "really real world".

Majority of people lie... they will say whatever it takes to avoid confrontation with their friends, I think Amercian Idol is a great example. How many of those people walk in front of the judges and say "my friends/family said I am great and that I will be a super start someday" Now I know love is blind but its not deaf, now I personally appreciate the people who lie because without them there would be no real reason to watch American Idol until the last five minutes of the very last episode and that's just so your not out of the loop at the water cooler the next day. So understand real friends don't lie so if someone tells you you suck in the most loving way they could you just found a true friend, cherish their honesty.

Work sucks... in the "really real world" nobody wants to work, you may enjoy your job but work will always be the bane of our existence, you could have the greatest job in the world but tomorrow if someone said you never have to go to work ever again ninety percent of us would walk out the door and never look back. Ands that the truth!

Just because you learned it on Public Broadcast Television does not make it true... I have heard people quote their local PBS stations as points of reference for historical accuracy only to find out later they were quoting a British Comedy or some documentary from 1972 that is no longer relevant, why is it that just because it is presented in a "public" format we accept it as truth.

And finally in the really real world you are responsible for your actions... Just because someone says something to you doesn't mean you have to let effect your decisions... in the really real world we place so much blame on other people, so and so made me feel this way, made me do this or that, but ultimately we made the decision shouldn't we be held responsible for it.

So just remember the next time you're duct tapped into your 70's model Thunderbird by a guy you thought you killed please understand that its your fault and try not to blame your parents for making you watching to much PBS and ruining your chances at functioning in normal society.

Number of the Day: 3,456.1

Animal of the Day: Fossa (Cryptoprocta ferox)

Word of the Day: 3. objurgate: to scold or rebuke sharply.

The End of Civilization as We Know It!

Its been a long time since I have feared the end of the world, but today I think I may have seen our demise in the near future. I was standing in the store and overheard the following conversation being held between two college age Girls.

Girl 1: Are you gonna vote?

Girl2: Yeah but I dot know for who yet.

Girl 1: Me either I like Hilary because she's a woman but she's to ugly to win.

Girl 2: Yeah for real didnt her husband cheat on her or something.

Girl 1: Yeah but most men cant handle a powerful woman so he was probably pissed cause she was more powerful than him

Girl 2: Yeah so its either her or Obama but he sounds like a terrorists

Girl 1: Who else is there?

Girl 2: I dont know those are the only two MTVNews talk about.

Girl 1: Oh well I'll just vote straight Democracy like my Dad told me to.

Girl 2: You mean democrat?

Girl 1: yeah whatever

And the sad part is folks I am not making this up!!!

Number of the Day: 32

Animal of the Day: Philippine Tarsier, (Tarsius syrichta)

Word of the Day: nescience: lack of knowledge or awareness.

And now "Where are they now!"

Whatever Happened To Jaleel White (Steve Urkel) from Family Matters?
Steve Urkel played the annoying nerd on the popular TV show "Family Matters." His real name is Jaleel White and he appeared on the show from 1989-1998. He started off as a guest apperance on the show as Laura's first date. The reaction to him on the show was overwhelming so it was decided to keep him on the show. He became very famous because of his nerdy role. Eventually they even came out with a Steve Urkel doll, and also a cereal called "Urkel O's."
Jaleel White was born on November 7, 1976 and started coming in commercials at the age of 3. The first television role Jaleel had was in 1985 on "The Jeffersons." He also did a couple of TV movies before starring on "Family Matters."
After the show ended, Jaleel White did the voice of one of the characters for the cartoon movie "Quest For Camelot." He also did a TV series which only lasted a year called "Grown Ups." In that sitcom, he played a 24 year old post college graduate. Recently, White graduated from UCLA Film School in 2001. He now lives in a condo in California and enjoys playing basketball, and writing.

The Swimming Pool of Life and the People who pee in it!

So there I was swimming through the shallow end of the swimming pool of life, enjoying the nice cool water and when a sudden temperature change in the water made me very aware that someone else was doing more in my pool than swimming. Now typically I don't mind sharing my pool, its a big pool with lots of room for everyone to enjoy it, but every now and again a certain type of person will come along and feel that just because their swimming pool is green and disgusting because they don't know how to keep it clean the feel they have to come over to someone elses pool and dirty it up by peeing in the pool. So I make this statement from this point forward if you pee in my pool I am going to thoroughly enjoy kicking you out of my pool, but don't fret as you fly through the gate, knowing the pain in your butt created by my foot will be there for awhile, I will leave you with some words of wisdom, life is much easier than you thank, Just don't do the bad stuff. And second if there is someone peeing in your pool, please see actions taken above.

Number of the Day: 22
Animal of the Day: Arabian Camel (Dromedary)


Word of the Day: supplicate \SUP-luh-kayt\, intransitive verb:1. To make a humble and earnest petition; to pray humbly.

Friend of Foe...

... the two share so many similarities its scary.

The definitions of each may be polar opposite but the reality is we give each more control over our lives then we should.

Number of the Day: 29

Animal of the Day: Xiphactinus Audax

Word of the Day: persiflage \PUR-suh-flahzh\, noun:Frivolous or bantering talk; a frivolous manner of treating any subject, whether serious or otherwise; light raillery.

The Torture continues.

So as I continue I hope you will have sympathy for my plight as one day you feel this way too. So as I rubbed my head with the painful realization of how old I was the loyalty I felt for my friend kicked in and I was back to the email it got a lot smoother it was easy questions, favorite color, nickname, favorite food, favorite movie, and "What were you doing in 1990?" I started to read through the other answer laughing at some shocked from others and thats when the bottom dropped out my friends 16 year old son answered "I wasn't even born yet" 1990 I thought to my self that was just yesterday, but it wasnt! I fell to my knees face in my hands screaming why, why! I could do nothing but shake, and hope for morning to come soon. Okay so it wasnt that bad but man sometimes those things make me feel old!

Why Violence should be accepted...

... as a solution for any situation involving one person thinking they are right, and they other disagreeing. This could include but is not limited to deciding where to eat, what TV show to watch, what movie to see, whether Star Wars or Star Trek is the greatest Sci- Fi series of all times, who's hotter Kelly Bundy from season one of "Married With Children" or Kelly Bundy from the final season of "Married With Children", who was the prettiest castaway on "Gilligans Island", Less Filling or Tastes Great, New Coke or Coca Cola Classic, Does Diet Dr Pepper really taste like real Dr Pepper, and so on and so on... these conversations seem never ending and that's because people are allowed to believe they are right without any repercussions for their idiocy, see if two people disagree they should be allowed to beat each other until there is a winner, and once one person is knocked out or verbally admits they were wrong the subject may never be brought up again and the winner shall be listed as RIGHT in the journals of history, and these decision will not be contestable in court. If death occurs during confrontation said dead guy will be held liable for his own actions because if he had been right in the first place he wouldn't have lost so it was his own stupidity that caused his death.

Now I know some of you may think this is not a good idea but that tells me you are wrong a lot!

Number of the Day: 4,567,890
Animal of the Day: Harp Seal (Phoca groenlandica)

Word of the Day: booboisie \boob-wah-ZEE\, noun:A class of people regarded as stupid or foolish.