Why you should never wear a short skirt or tight pants on the train.

This morning was a hard morning for a couple ladies on my train. Let me set the scenario for you,I was on the train, there scenario set.

So the first incident involves a woman who is dressed in a very nice pants suit, with high heels, who was probably in her early thirties now it was obvious her pants were a little too tight, you could tell by the way she took the steps up into the train, side stepping like a penguin, that she knew it as well. She rounded the entrance and stepped toward the aisle when IT happened, her right heel caught in a groove of the floor and her other foot landed in a puddle, causing this odd vortex of flying arms and legs, and when the winds calmed down there she was a pile of human, with her pants split from zipper to belt, oh what a horrible way to realize that going commando was not such a great idea after all. Of course needless to say she was helped to her a feet and once she realized what had happened her face fell into horror and she ran from the train.

And now on to incident number two, I kid you not at the very next stop a young woman, probably in her early twenties, stepped onto the train wearing a very short denim skirt and those wierd flat shoes that look like house slippers but everyone swears that they aren't. I only know that when my grandmother wore them twenty years agothey were called house slippers. But I digress, so she steps in the aisle and she at least makes it a little further than the other lady before she slips on another puddle of water that was made by someones umbrella. This time there was no vortex of human limbs there was only a sharp squeal and her sudden realization, that she could do nothing to stop the fact that she was falling into the splits, and so she hit and rather hard too, and this is when she realizedthat the sesame street underwear she thought was so cute when she bought it was not very attractive when doing the splits.

After that stop when ever someone new would walk on the train everyone who had experienced the other falls seemed to wait with anticipation for the next victim. We were like vultures, it was horrible, I loved it!


Anyways just a word to the wise if you dont want your naughty bits shown to the world then dont go commando, and please choose your cartoon character underwear wisely!

Phobia of the Day: Trains, railroads or train travel- Siderodromophobia.

Number of the Day: 12

Where are they Now: Joff Cohen Chunk from Goonies

Then: Cohen did the rounds of '80s TV sitcoms ('Webster,' 'Facts of Life') before being tapped to play Lawrence "Chunk" Cohen, the pudgy, ice cream-loving, tall tale-telling Goonie who redeems himself by pledging devotion to the sweet deformity known as Sloth. ("I'm gonna take care of ya ... because I love ya.")

Now: 'Goonies' was Cohen's only film role, but he never really left Chunk behind. As an undergrad at UC Berkeley, he ran for office (and won) on a "Chunk for President" platform and amused students by doing the Truffle Shuffle at football games. He's now a slimmed-down entertainment lawyer at Cohen & Gardner in L.A.