Wal-mart your Fiendish Devil!

So this morning I was on my way in to work and I had to stop and get some super glue from Wal-Mart and well it has lead me to make this statement right now, from this point forward I shall no longer venture in to a Wal-Mart store between the hours of 11:00PM and 7:00AM. On so for my reasons a I have written the following short story "Ode to Wal-mart weirdness"

I arose from my sleeping chambers and lay there, quite groggy. I seemed to linger in between a world of sleep and awake. My eyes were unfocused as I reached for my glasses, blinked twice and read the alarm clock. I was late. I threw on my close and ran out the house I had 15 extra minutes to stop by the store, my mind screamed, “you idiot you have left yourself only one place to go!” At first I didn’t want to admit it, a dozen places ran though my mind but I knew they were all to far out of the way but Wal-mart was my only option. I had once made a promise to never venture into this dark underworld of oddities again, but today I must.

I pulled into the parking lot and stepped out into the deep sea of gray, a threatening wind whistled by and menacing shopping cart seemed to my way. I picked up my paced and headed for the door, the cart matched my speed, wait it seemed to be gaining. How is this possible? I broke into run, I could hear the rattle of the carts wheels getting closer and closer. I leaped through the doors just as they were closing, I turned to see the cart slam into the glass not once but twice.

As I pulled myself up I heard an old woman cackle from behind me. Her eyes seemed to be jet black and her skin nearly transparent. Welcome to Wal-Mart she said with a toothless grin, but when her words echoed off the walls they said Welcome to hell!
I eased my way pass the old hag grabbed a hand basket and steadied myself. I was facing a daunting possible horrific task surviving Wal-mart and its army of predawn weirdness!

My journey had just begun…

Two posts in one day, I think I am going blog!

So there I was bloggin away in my super secret blog, that only I know about and I had a realization!
I love my super secret blog! Did you know that in my super secret blog I could talk about you and you would never know it.
I could call you names and talk about your mom. I could say how your dad flirts with me and I'm a guy, can we say strange.
Can I say I feel oddly uncomfortable around you because you tend to smell like Puppy Chow and wet Rabbit. Yes I can because its MY super secret blog that YOU will never read.

I could talk about all the horrible things I've done to you in my imagination, things that involve a 1957 Studebaker brake light, a goat, a bottle of Deja Blue water, finger clippers, and of course duct tape!

I could write about what I am thinking right and you wouldn't like what I am thinking right now.

Of course you will never know these things, you wont even know if they are about you or you or you! They could be about you or another you a totally different you that you don't know about!

OK so here's the sad part someone is going to read this and they are actually going to think that I am talking about them. they are going to that my life revolves around them and that I have nothing better to do that write bad things about them in my super secret blog that they will never know about! And that person my friends is very vain!

Of course they could be right too!

Holy Blog! That mother blogger is bloggin again!

I wrote this little blog just for! Yeah yeah!

Now sit right back and listen to my tale
about a mother bloggin blogger who blogs to well

I'm bout to flip the blog up in this mother blogger!

All my blogs where you at!?

Now all my fellow bloggers put your blogs in the air
and wave your bloggin blogs like you just dont care!

It was Oct 31st in the blogosphere
Pants saggin off my blog cause a blogger just dont care

I strolled out my blog, bloggin hard as can be
my blog bandana hangin for all the blogs to see

When two hard a bloggers rolled up in a sled
They wanted to blog a mother blogger they wanted this blogger dead

They started waving their blogs and flashing all their post
The driver jumped out the sled, a blogger from the east coast

I saw my very blog flash before my eyes
I saw my moms bloggin about a son that dies!

Heard a couple pops and everything slowed
I opened my eyes I had dropped those bloggers cold.

So don't mess with this blogger I'm the lyrical wizard
covering your blog like a bloggin blizzard!

Putting bloggers to bed laying them to rest
no other blogger gonna step to this test!

Peace blogger out!