I have decided it has been to long since I last blogged so I thought I would thoe one out there.
For a long time one of my favorite things to do when I am in public and bored is people watch. While people watching it has always amazed me that people forget they are in public, and do some disgusting things!! While waiting at the pharmacy CVS the other day I saw 6 people come and go. Of those six, three committed the following 1 nose pick and sleeve wipe, 1 wedgie pick and butt scratch, and finally 1 pants crotch adjust, the last one is possibly the most disturbing seeing as it was female and I'm pretty sure it wasn't the pants making her uncomfortable, poor girl!!
Watching all this occurred made me hypersensitive to my own actions in public, I am now very aware of people who may be watching or cameras who may watching!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
New games to play!
Back to bloogosphere, back to my own little reality!
I have created a new game we shall call it Smellevator!
Everytime you walk into a Elevator your goal is to identify all odors present. I know it sounds gross and it is but I get bored on the elevator as I journey from the 2nd floor to the 3rd floor and need to entertain myself.
Other games still in the testing process:
Derail the Train: Objective of the game is If you find yourself walking in the middle of a large crowd to stop abruptly and see how many people run into your back. In order to be classified as a Derailment a minimum of three people must crash into you at the same time.
Back Up: When standing in a crowded area begin to slowly back up and see and how many people you can get to move out of the way. If you can successfuly make it through the crowd without running into anyone you will have achieved Ninja status in back up.
Blair Witch Winning: Objective to stand for five minutes with your nose in the corner, hands behind your back, of a busy common area without having someone ask you what you are doing.
I have created a new game we shall call it Smellevator!
Everytime you walk into a Elevator your goal is to identify all odors present. I know it sounds gross and it is but I get bored on the elevator as I journey from the 2nd floor to the 3rd floor and need to entertain myself.
Other games still in the testing process:
Derail the Train: Objective of the game is If you find yourself walking in the middle of a large crowd to stop abruptly and see how many people run into your back. In order to be classified as a Derailment a minimum of three people must crash into you at the same time.
Back Up: When standing in a crowded area begin to slowly back up and see and how many people you can get to move out of the way. If you can successfuly make it through the crowd without running into anyone you will have achieved Ninja status in back up.
Blair Witch Winning: Objective to stand for five minutes with your nose in the corner, hands behind your back, of a busy common area without having someone ask you what you are doing.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Oh the Return has been painful!
I challenge thee!
For the rest of the weekend I challenge you to respond to all initial questions or statements such as "Hey" or “Question?” with the most random answer possible!
Examples:
Woman: "Question?"
Man: Only on Tuesday but not since Godzilla took over
Man: Can I ask you question?
Man: It was purple but it chaffed so I stopped wearing it
Woman: Hey
Woman: Nope but if it was up to me Abe Lincoln would be played by Conan O'Brien
For the rest of the weekend I challenge you to respond to all initial questions or statements such as "Hey" or “Question?” with the most random answer possible!
Examples:
Woman: "Question?"
Man: Only on Tuesday but not since Godzilla took over
Man: Can I ask you question?
Man: It was purple but it chaffed so I stopped wearing it
Woman: Hey
Woman: Nope but if it was up to me Abe Lincoln would be played by Conan O'Brien
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Sometimes I wish I were the Hulk.
I mean accept for the green skin and the purple pants he's a pretty awesome guy. Granted he has a temper issue but isnt it always directed at someone who is doing something bad? Whats wrong with that. I mean he calms down eventually and has to buy new clothes - You figure he would buy something beside purple but hey maybe thats his thing or maybe it goes best with green skin. But in the grand scheme of things dont we all wish we had the nerve to stand up to something that makes us mad.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The joys of Spandex
This goes out to all those poeplea who decide it would be a good idea to wear their workout clothes in public.
First and foremost please remember the following rules
Rule number 1 of spandex just because it comes in your size doesnt mean you should wear it.
Rule number 2 if it doesnt come in your size that doesnt mean you should buy the smaller size because it stretches.
Rule number 3 - Please remember that if at any point you plan on sweating while wearing your yellow spandex to please wear the appropriate undergarments. A black thong is not listed in the "appropriate"
catagory in this situation. Please note rules 1 and 2 apply to black thongs as well.
Rule number 4 - For the sake of small impressionable children and any adult who is not blind, please do not wear an old white sports bra with said spandex and pretend like its a work out top.
Rule number 5 - And this one is probably the most important one of all, for the love of Pete you should never ever ever ever ever evere ever ever bend over at your waist to pick up something on the bottom shelf while wearing the above attire. I believe it breaks one of the Ten Commandments -
Thou shalt not commit murder, because everyone within line of sight wished they were not alive to view that.
So I want to end with an apology to everyone that had to endure my outfit yesterday it really was a bad choice!
And your welcome for the visual!
First and foremost please remember the following rules
Rule number 1 of spandex just because it comes in your size doesnt mean you should wear it.
Rule number 2 if it doesnt come in your size that doesnt mean you should buy the smaller size because it stretches.
Rule number 3 - Please remember that if at any point you plan on sweating while wearing your yellow spandex to please wear the appropriate undergarments. A black thong is not listed in the "appropriate"
catagory in this situation. Please note rules 1 and 2 apply to black thongs as well.
Rule number 4 - For the sake of small impressionable children and any adult who is not blind, please do not wear an old white sports bra with said spandex and pretend like its a work out top.
Rule number 5 - And this one is probably the most important one of all, for the love of Pete you should never ever ever ever ever evere ever ever bend over at your waist to pick up something on the bottom shelf while wearing the above attire. I believe it breaks one of the Ten Commandments -
Thou shalt not commit murder, because everyone within line of sight wished they were not alive to view that.
So I want to end with an apology to everyone that had to endure my outfit yesterday it really was a bad choice!
And your welcome for the visual!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Two Guys, Three girls, and four huge packages of toilet paper!
I remember the days of peewee football; the Friday Pep rallies, wearing our jerseys to school, getting a special lunch for being on the team. (For those of you not from Texas, football rules the life of an average kid from flag through high school) But some of my fondest memories come from the Friday nights before the games. To wake up to giggling voices as the cheerleaders’ toilet paper every tree in your front yard! Or to be chased from the front yard of the cheerleaders by a very angry father who is not scared to throw things at kids or call your parents and rat you out that you had snuck out of the house at two in the morning. So when you do get home and sneak through your window, your Mom can scare the ever-living crap out of you by jumping out of your closet. Not that, that ever happened I’m just saying it could! But I digress, where was I, oh yes, the other day my wife and I were driving down the road and we saw three “tween” age girls walking down the street carrying four large packages of toilet paper, I’m talking twenty four packs here people. It was actually funny because one of the girls was trying to carry two packages and together they had to of weighed more than her, she was having some trouble. I laughed out loud at these girls because that scene could only lead to one scenario with multiple endings.
But as we drove on the plot thickened – about seventy-five yards behind these girls were two boys, obviously trying hard not to be seen by the girls and appeared they were doing a good job. This changes the scenario completely and in tomorrows blog I will play these two scenarios out in what I would like to call –
MTV The Real World Mode!
But as we drove on the plot thickened – about seventy-five yards behind these girls were two boys, obviously trying hard not to be seen by the girls and appeared they were doing a good job. This changes the scenario completely and in tomorrows blog I will play these two scenarios out in what I would like to call –
MTV The Real World Mode!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The day the Coke fell! A Short Epic Tale of Despair and Humor
I stepped from the warm safety of my house out into a cold cold world. No really it was like twenty freaking degrees this morning it was bloggin cold! As I briskly walked to my car I felt a certain air about the day it was going to be a good day, I knew. And to be completely honest it did start off that way, the drive in to work although slow was uneventful, work was slow due to the weather as well but little did i know what lurked around the corner of the day, an event so horrific and yet humorous , I fell to my knees and thanked God that I was present to view it. I'll set the mood:
We were at work and I was in the deli downstairs! I was the forth person in line behind an elderly man, at the front of the line, and two young women from another floor of the building. As we stood there waiting to pay the elderly gentlemanpulle out his wallet and literally started cound out dimes and nickels to pay for his meal. Dont worry he's not poor so I'm not making funn of poor people he said he had just cleaned out the coin jar in his office. So get over yourself. Anyways as we are waiting patinetly this lady walks in, walks right up to the counter and lays down the exact change for a coke from the fountain machine in front of the cashier and walks off. Well the three of us who had been waiting patiently were a little upset but well we didnt want the old guy feeling bad so we kept our moths shut. But what happened next may honestly have been the greatest moment in DELI history! The Line Cutter as I like to call her, and no you're thinking of the wrong kind of COKE, grabbed a cup and put some ice in and placed under the spout, as she pushed the button it started coming real slow it looked like syrup, so the lady does the only logical thing and starts poking at the handle tryiong to make it work. The lady behind the counter freaked and starts yelling in Chinese and English "No stop, please stop, place Chinese words here if you know any, you going to make big mess!" The lady didnt listen and pushed the button one last time! Evidentally the spout was clogged and each time she was pressing the button it was building up pressure behind, well the final push was just to much and the next thing you coke went all over the lady! I mean all over. Imagine if you will standing in front of a two liter of Diet Coke when a package of Mentos has been dropped into it and that is what this lady looked like. The chinese lady just stopped and started laughing "I told you you gonna make big mess!" At that our shock turned into a vengeful laughter! She had gotten her just deserts. And that was the day the coke fell!
We were at work and I was in the deli downstairs! I was the forth person in line behind an elderly man, at the front of the line, and two young women from another floor of the building. As we stood there waiting to pay the elderly gentlemanpulle out his wallet and literally started cound out dimes and nickels to pay for his meal. Dont worry he's not poor so I'm not making funn of poor people he said he had just cleaned out the coin jar in his office. So get over yourself. Anyways as we are waiting patinetly this lady walks in, walks right up to the counter and lays down the exact change for a coke from the fountain machine in front of the cashier and walks off. Well the three of us who had been waiting patiently were a little upset but well we didnt want the old guy feeling bad so we kept our moths shut. But what happened next may honestly have been the greatest moment in DELI history! The Line Cutter as I like to call her, and no you're thinking of the wrong kind of COKE, grabbed a cup and put some ice in and placed under the spout, as she pushed the button it started coming real slow it looked like syrup, so the lady does the only logical thing and starts poking at the handle tryiong to make it work. The lady behind the counter freaked and starts yelling in Chinese and English "No stop, please stop, place Chinese words here if you know any, you going to make big mess!" The lady didnt listen and pushed the button one last time! Evidentally the spout was clogged and each time she was pressing the button it was building up pressure behind, well the final push was just to much and the next thing you coke went all over the lady! I mean all over. Imagine if you will standing in front of a two liter of Diet Coke when a package of Mentos has been dropped into it and that is what this lady looked like. The chinese lady just stopped and started laughing "I told you you gonna make big mess!" At that our shock turned into a vengeful laughter! She had gotten her just deserts. And that was the day the coke fell!
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