Wal-mart must have brain washed my wife!

The following occurred between the minutes of 6:53AM and 6:57AM

At a run now I reached the main aisle and turned left, tools was approximately 15 yards away. I opened up my stride and picked up speed, I was almost there. A quick glance at the watch still 6:53AM only a few seconds had passed. I slowed up a little in order to make the turn and my hip went numb. It felt like I had been shot with a poisoned arrow or stabbed, luckily it was just my phone vibrating. (An over active imagination and paranoia never go well together!) At walk now I pulled my phone and had the flowing conversation:

Me: Hey what’s up?
My Wife: Hey what are you doing?
Me: Libby, you’re waiting in the car you know exactly what I am doing, I’m getting glue!
My Wife: Oh.
Me: What do you need?
My Wife: Nothing I was just bored.
Me: Okay I gotta go, I’ll see in a few minutes.
My Wife: Okay but.
Me: But what?
My Wife: Nothing, never mind.
Me: Libby what is it?
My Wife: Can you hury I am bored.
Me: What do you think I am doing in here reading a book.
My Wife: Okay, do you want to talk to Mitus?
Me: Libby I’m trying to hurry. I’ll be done soon bye!

Had my wife joined forces with Wal-Mart, I would have to address that topic later. But as annoying as that was my body had instinctively kept walking and there I stood on the tool aisle. It was 6:55AM
I grabbed the glue and spun for the main aisle and ran into a wall of teenage nerds. Their eyes were glowing red, most likely caused by an all nighter consisting of Red Bull, Cheetohs, and Rock Band but after what I had already seen I wasn’t in the mood to take any chances. I turned to go the other way met another wall. They didn’t speak they just stood there, staring. But then the humming started it took me a minute to make out the song but once I did I got a creepy oomp - loompa vibe. They were humming the thing song to “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”. That’s when it dawned on me in my pocket was a small cash of caffeine gum, that I use later in the day when coffee just ain’t doing the trick. I took the from pocket ad displayed them in a open hand, the humming stopped, their eyes fixed on my palm. I threw the gum over into the next aisle and watched and they tore after like mad dogs. Again I took off running the time 6:57AM time was running out I was on the main aisle but the register felts miles away!