So there I was bloggin away in my super secret blog, that only I know about and I had a realization!
I love my super secret blog! Did you know that in my super secret blog I could talk about you and you would never know it.
I could call you names and talk about your mom. I could say how your dad flirts with me and I'm a guy, can we say strange.
Can I say I feel oddly uncomfortable around you because you tend to smell like Puppy Chow and wet Rabbit. Yes I can because its MY super secret blog that YOU will never read.
I could talk about all the horrible things I've done to you in my imagination, things that involve a 1957 Studebaker brake light, a goat, a bottle of Deja Blue water, finger clippers, and of course duct tape!
I could write about what I am thinking right and you wouldn't like what I am thinking right now.
Of course you will never know these things, you wont even know if they are about you or you or you! They could be about you or another you a totally different you that you don't know about!
OK so here's the sad part someone is going to read this and they are actually going to think that I am talking about them. they are going to that my life revolves around them and that I have nothing better to do that write bad things about them in my super secret blog that they will never know about! And that person my friends is very vain!
Of course they could be right too!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Holy Blog! That mother blogger is bloggin again!
I wrote this little blog just for! Yeah yeah!
Now sit right back and listen to my tale
about a mother bloggin blogger who blogs to well
I'm bout to flip the blog up in this mother blogger!
All my blogs where you at!?
Now all my fellow bloggers put your blogs in the air
and wave your bloggin blogs like you just dont care!
It was Oct 31st in the blogosphere
Pants saggin off my blog cause a blogger just dont care
I strolled out my blog, bloggin hard as can be
my blog bandana hangin for all the blogs to see
When two hard a bloggers rolled up in a sled
They wanted to blog a mother blogger they wanted this blogger dead
They started waving their blogs and flashing all their post
The driver jumped out the sled, a blogger from the east coast
I saw my very blog flash before my eyes
I saw my moms bloggin about a son that dies!
Heard a couple pops and everything slowed
I opened my eyes I had dropped those bloggers cold.
So don't mess with this blogger I'm the lyrical wizard
covering your blog like a bloggin blizzard!
Putting bloggers to bed laying them to rest
no other blogger gonna step to this test!
Peace blogger out!
Now sit right back and listen to my tale
about a mother bloggin blogger who blogs to well
I'm bout to flip the blog up in this mother blogger!
All my blogs where you at!?
Now all my fellow bloggers put your blogs in the air
and wave your bloggin blogs like you just dont care!
It was Oct 31st in the blogosphere
Pants saggin off my blog cause a blogger just dont care
I strolled out my blog, bloggin hard as can be
my blog bandana hangin for all the blogs to see
When two hard a bloggers rolled up in a sled
They wanted to blog a mother blogger they wanted this blogger dead
They started waving their blogs and flashing all their post
The driver jumped out the sled, a blogger from the east coast
I saw my very blog flash before my eyes
I saw my moms bloggin about a son that dies!
Heard a couple pops and everything slowed
I opened my eyes I had dropped those bloggers cold.
So don't mess with this blogger I'm the lyrical wizard
covering your blog like a bloggin blizzard!
Putting bloggers to bed laying them to rest
no other blogger gonna step to this test!
Peace blogger out!
Friday, June 20, 2008
The Two for one blog special!
The evil twins who were not twins but were very evil!
I lay quietly in bed, as still as humanly possible, the images of those deranged, psychotic miscreants of humanity, danced through my thoughts. It was four in the morning and I could not sleep, I knew I would have to face them, just as I do everyday, but why, why was I being subjected to such horrors. I'll tell you why, because when someone is evil they must pursecute the good, the wicked are always trying to keep a brotha down. Gotta fight the power my brotha's, oh wait sorry wrong story. Where was I, yes and so I lay there dreading the day to come, dreading the hour that I must remove myself from an attempt at sleep, dreading the minutes that I glide along the Dart Rail (Oh how i hate you Fatty Fattest McFatmna), dreading the seconds I spend waiting for the elevator. Ding! "Welcome to hell, Lucifer and his evil minions will be serving all your needs of torture and suffering today, please enjoy your stay!" I can't get it out of my head "What are you doing? Why are you doing that? Uhm, is there a reason your not on the phone? Don't you think?" Thats all they ever say! Why can't I get a normal hell like everyone else, you know eternal loneliness, constant burning sensation, void of anything and everything, leaving you to be tortured by the deafening silence. No, I get the wonder twins and the magical powers of NAG!
How I thwarted the evil plot of the Osama Bin Ladin and his reign of terror on the Dart Rail.
I dont want to brag I mean Daniel is merely one man, but today on the train Daniel amazed even himself. Now Daniel doesn't normally speak in third person but it felt right since Daniel did what only heros do, Daniel saved lives! Let us relive the moment through the Daniel's eyes. As ususal Daniel was dressed from head to toe in an Armani suit prepared for a long day of high powered meetings and screaming conference calls, Daniel was just being Daniel that day just like Daniel is everyday!
But today was different, Daniel felt a strange feeling in the air, a tingling on theback fo Daniel's neck made him shiver, and Daniel doesn't shiver! Daniel scanned the car for the danger, and there three rows back from Daniel, sat a lone man who was not Daniel, he looked nervous, like he was trying to hide something. Daniel saw his eyes dart back and froth from door to door looking for what seemed to be an escape. Daniel, knew something was wrong, and he lept into action! Daniel, being merely a man, grabbed the indivdual by his shirt and lifted him from his seat, and to Daniel's horror he saw it, the most unthinkable thing had been brought on to the train a dog, but not just any dog, as it seemed to was not real but was actually a bomb in dogs clothing!
Daniel ran to the door hit the emergancy open button and threw the "dog" out of the door into a creek. The man sobbed, Daniel understood, after all now that he had not blown up all the American Infadels, he would not receive his appropriate forty virgins as promised! Its odd though daniel thinks he heard the bomb make a shrieking noise, sure it didnt blow up that close the train. And that is how Daniel, thwarted Osama Bin Ladin, and how he got thrown in jail, but as usual, police always get mad when we do their jobs better than them!
I lay quietly in bed, as still as humanly possible, the images of those deranged, psychotic miscreants of humanity, danced through my thoughts. It was four in the morning and I could not sleep, I knew I would have to face them, just as I do everyday, but why, why was I being subjected to such horrors. I'll tell you why, because when someone is evil they must pursecute the good, the wicked are always trying to keep a brotha down. Gotta fight the power my brotha's, oh wait sorry wrong story. Where was I, yes and so I lay there dreading the day to come, dreading the hour that I must remove myself from an attempt at sleep, dreading the minutes that I glide along the Dart Rail (Oh how i hate you Fatty Fattest McFatmna), dreading the seconds I spend waiting for the elevator. Ding! "Welcome to hell, Lucifer and his evil minions will be serving all your needs of torture and suffering today, please enjoy your stay!" I can't get it out of my head "What are you doing? Why are you doing that? Uhm, is there a reason your not on the phone? Don't you think?" Thats all they ever say! Why can't I get a normal hell like everyone else, you know eternal loneliness, constant burning sensation, void of anything and everything, leaving you to be tortured by the deafening silence. No, I get the wonder twins and the magical powers of NAG!
How I thwarted the evil plot of the Osama Bin Ladin and his reign of terror on the Dart Rail.
I dont want to brag I mean Daniel is merely one man, but today on the train Daniel amazed even himself. Now Daniel doesn't normally speak in third person but it felt right since Daniel did what only heros do, Daniel saved lives! Let us relive the moment through the Daniel's eyes. As ususal Daniel was dressed from head to toe in an Armani suit prepared for a long day of high powered meetings and screaming conference calls, Daniel was just being Daniel that day just like Daniel is everyday!
But today was different, Daniel felt a strange feeling in the air, a tingling on theback fo Daniel's neck made him shiver, and Daniel doesn't shiver! Daniel scanned the car for the danger, and there three rows back from Daniel, sat a lone man who was not Daniel, he looked nervous, like he was trying to hide something. Daniel saw his eyes dart back and froth from door to door looking for what seemed to be an escape. Daniel, knew something was wrong, and he lept into action! Daniel, being merely a man, grabbed the indivdual by his shirt and lifted him from his seat, and to Daniel's horror he saw it, the most unthinkable thing had been brought on to the train a dog, but not just any dog, as it seemed to was not real but was actually a bomb in dogs clothing!
Daniel ran to the door hit the emergancy open button and threw the "dog" out of the door into a creek. The man sobbed, Daniel understood, after all now that he had not blown up all the American Infadels, he would not receive his appropriate forty virgins as promised! Its odd though daniel thinks he heard the bomb make a shrieking noise, sure it didnt blow up that close the train. And that is how Daniel, thwarted Osama Bin Ladin, and how he got thrown in jail, but as usual, police always get mad when we do their jobs better than them!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Why the train should have TV's
This morning I took a different train than I normally do so I experianced some new people, and I saw something that was very intrigueing. As I watched the whole scene play out I heard the theme for Wild Kingdom playing in my head, and the Narrators voice giving me the play by play of what I was watching. But first let me set the scene:
Location Dart Rail: The Train was particularly busy a lot of people had to stand.
Participants: Two young ladies between the ages of 25-30
Scenario: The Unknown Stare Down!
And the voice began...
Undaunted we begin or daily trek out into the concrete wilderness. We are in search of the rarely seen "Dance of the Insane", the tales of this great dance have been passed from generation to generation, its a chaotic flurry of animalistic movements, people in a frenzy trying simply to stake their claim on this great Hairless Beast known as the DART rail. Every morning it happens time and time again, and this morning we are going to not just observe the chaos we are going to jump head long into the stomach of this mythical monster and experiance the "Dance of the Insane" for ourselves. We charge the wild animal and push ourselves into its mechanical belly, and for the moment we can rest. And then to our delight we spot something rarely caught by the human eye, "The Unknown Stare Down", what luck. There in the midst of the swaying calm of the crowd where two very attractive women, each ina different way, unknowingly staring each other down. One of them obviously of latin descent the other even more obviously of the caucasion persuasion. And for the sake of this documenary, the latine will be know as Maria and the caucasion woman will be known as Ashley. They are the polar opposite of each, Maria is curvacious and very well endowed, while Ashley is very sporty with a very athletic build, and unbeknownst to each other they are taking turns gawking at the others form. Ashley seems entranced with Maria's bustline at times she will push her shoulders back and try to "increase" her own proportions, without success. And when she looks away, Maria will then stare at the waist line of Ashley and at times she will pull in her stomach trying to "decrease" her proportions, again without much success. The battle is back and forth, with no one being the winner, and then as if in defeat Maria, gives in and releases her stomach muscles, and exits the trains. Little does she know as soon as Maria stepped off the train, Ashley let out a deep breath and let her shoulders fall about two inches. There was glorious win for Ashley merely an understanding that if they had gone one more exit she might not have won this battle.
Okay so this should let you know what I do on the train. How bored am I that I notice crap like this. Wow, is all I have to say!
Location Dart Rail: The Train was particularly busy a lot of people had to stand.
Participants: Two young ladies between the ages of 25-30
Scenario: The Unknown Stare Down!
And the voice began...
Undaunted we begin or daily trek out into the concrete wilderness. We are in search of the rarely seen "Dance of the Insane", the tales of this great dance have been passed from generation to generation, its a chaotic flurry of animalistic movements, people in a frenzy trying simply to stake their claim on this great Hairless Beast known as the DART rail. Every morning it happens time and time again, and this morning we are going to not just observe the chaos we are going to jump head long into the stomach of this mythical monster and experiance the "Dance of the Insane" for ourselves. We charge the wild animal and push ourselves into its mechanical belly, and for the moment we can rest. And then to our delight we spot something rarely caught by the human eye, "The Unknown Stare Down", what luck. There in the midst of the swaying calm of the crowd where two very attractive women, each ina different way, unknowingly staring each other down. One of them obviously of latin descent the other even more obviously of the caucasion persuasion. And for the sake of this documenary, the latine will be know as Maria and the caucasion woman will be known as Ashley. They are the polar opposite of each, Maria is curvacious and very well endowed, while Ashley is very sporty with a very athletic build, and unbeknownst to each other they are taking turns gawking at the others form. Ashley seems entranced with Maria's bustline at times she will push her shoulders back and try to "increase" her own proportions, without success. And when she looks away, Maria will then stare at the waist line of Ashley and at times she will pull in her stomach trying to "decrease" her proportions, again without much success. The battle is back and forth, with no one being the winner, and then as if in defeat Maria, gives in and releases her stomach muscles, and exits the trains. Little does she know as soon as Maria stepped off the train, Ashley let out a deep breath and let her shoulders fall about two inches. There was glorious win for Ashley merely an understanding that if they had gone one more exit she might not have won this battle.
Okay so this should let you know what I do on the train. How bored am I that I notice crap like this. Wow, is all I have to say!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Why everyone hates you Fatty Fatest McFatman!
As I have stated before the train has become a source of entartainment for me, and typically these stories are light hearted and sarcastic but today my fellow bloggers I would like to introduce you a very dark character. His name is Fatty Fattest McFatman! A certain level of loathing overcomes me as soon as I see him getting on the train. Thankfully I have Jesus and he has taught me not to give into the urges. So I continue fisrt his stats:
Name: Fatty Fatest McFatman
Age: 30-35
Height: 6'4" - 6'5"
Weight: The total combined weight of the population of rhode island.
Marrital Status: There is a ring.
Children: At one point but it is believed he sold them on the black market for a bucket o chicken to a small donut shop in Garland.
Family History: His Dad was never home and when he was he didnt show Fatty any attention because he didnt play any sports. But his older brother Todd was a fotball star so Daddy loved all over Todd. So to make up for the affection he didnt get his mom allowed him to eat whatever he wanted.
Likes: The cooking network and the ESPN injury report.
Dislikes: Jocks, small children, and skinny people.
Hobbies: He enjoys torturing small animals, terrorizing the neighborhood children, an tormenting his poor wife.
Why I loathe him: There are certain rules on the train that all MEN should abide to.
1. If you are large enough to take up more than one seat you should stand up!
2. A MAN should always offer is seat to a woman who is aving to stand. Especially if she is over the age of 60!
3. Always allow omen to walk on to the train first.
4. Do not gawk at an attractive woman just because she is in your line of sight.
5. Do not act irritated when a petite woman tries to slide in next to you.
And this, person I refuse to use man, ignores all of the above. He is openly a jerk! Each day in my head I run little scenarios that involve him, electricity, train tracks, and a mountain goat.
Number of the day: 4
Phobia of the Day: Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Name: Fatty Fatest McFatman
Age: 30-35
Height: 6'4" - 6'5"
Weight: The total combined weight of the population of rhode island.
Marrital Status: There is a ring.
Children: At one point but it is believed he sold them on the black market for a bucket o chicken to a small donut shop in Garland.
Family History: His Dad was never home and when he was he didnt show Fatty any attention because he didnt play any sports. But his older brother Todd was a fotball star so Daddy loved all over Todd. So to make up for the affection he didnt get his mom allowed him to eat whatever he wanted.
Likes: The cooking network and the ESPN injury report.
Dislikes: Jocks, small children, and skinny people.
Hobbies: He enjoys torturing small animals, terrorizing the neighborhood children, an tormenting his poor wife.
Why I loathe him: There are certain rules on the train that all MEN should abide to.
1. If you are large enough to take up more than one seat you should stand up!
2. A MAN should always offer is seat to a woman who is aving to stand. Especially if she is over the age of 60!
3. Always allow omen to walk on to the train first.
4. Do not gawk at an attractive woman just because she is in your line of sight.
5. Do not act irritated when a petite woman tries to slide in next to you.
And this, person I refuse to use man, ignores all of the above. He is openly a jerk! Each day in my head I run little scenarios that involve him, electricity, train tracks, and a mountain goat.
Number of the day: 4
Phobia of the Day: Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
10 things I hate about THAT Guy!
Have you ever known THAT guy, you know the guy I am talking about! The one that when you get to heaven your going ask God if He couldnt have done something better with that particular mound of flesh and bones
Please note the names and locations have been changed to protect the identity of these extremely stupid people!And that guy can be substituted as a girl at any time.
10. I hate that, THAT guy has a bigger better story than you no matter what you have one. If you went fishing on a boat at a local lake and caught a good sized fish, then he went out on a yacht, in the middle of the ocean and caught a great white shark with the string from his super model girlfriends bikini.
09. I hate that, THAT guy will sit there and nod his head and agree with everything someone is saying and then turn around and not do any of the stuff he was just agreeing with!
08. I hate that, THAT guy will sit around mope all day long about how horrible his life is but if you give him a way out he gets mad at you for telling him he needs to change.
07. I hate that, THAT guy will ramble on and on for ever saying the same thing the person before them just said, but that guy thinks that if he says it it will make so much more sense, and everyone will be enlightened!
06. I hate that, THAT guy acts like he knows what he's talking about even though he has no clue, and if you even semi challenge him on something he accusses you of attacking him and then throws a pity party and acts like you are the bad guy. And the only reason he acts this way is because hed no answer for your question and this is a serious deflection technique made famous by Wonder Woman with her gold bracelets.
05. I hate that, THAT guy is to stupid to understand how lucky he is that up until this point he hasnt gotten his butt kicked on more than one occassion, I hate that he is too stupid to be scared which makes it even harder not to play "Mr Potato Head" with his face!
04. I hate that, THAT guy thinks he can fix all of your problems by simply telling you what he thinks you should do. And then gets offended if you disagree even though its your life, and he's an idiot.
03. I hate that, THAT guy cries over the stupidest things that in all reality, and I am talking about the real reality the one everybody lives in, have no true impact on his life. and yet he acts like its him who is going through it, man up!
02. I hate that, THAT guy will be a complete a-hole to you, being sarcastic stating the obvious, just being rude, but if you stand up to him, well heavan forbid his world just fell apart cause you were mean to him and he thought you were his friend!
01. And the number one thing that I hate about That guy - Its that he is THAT guy all the freaking time!
Phobia of the day: Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
Number of the Day: 4,732 the amount of times I have wanted to kill THAT guy.
I am starting a new segment called: "Before They Were Famous!"
Q: What did Steve Carell do before becoming famous?
A: Steve Carell was once a mail carrier but says he quit after a few months because he was "very, very bad at it."
A: In 1996, Steve Carell appeared on the short-lived "Dana Carvey Show" where he voiced Gary in The Ambiguously Gay Duo sketch (before it moved to SNL).
Please note the names and locations have been changed to protect the identity of these extremely stupid people!And that guy can be substituted as a girl at any time.
10. I hate that, THAT guy has a bigger better story than you no matter what you have one. If you went fishing on a boat at a local lake and caught a good sized fish, then he went out on a yacht, in the middle of the ocean and caught a great white shark with the string from his super model girlfriends bikini.
09. I hate that, THAT guy will sit there and nod his head and agree with everything someone is saying and then turn around and not do any of the stuff he was just agreeing with!
08. I hate that, THAT guy will sit around mope all day long about how horrible his life is but if you give him a way out he gets mad at you for telling him he needs to change.
07. I hate that, THAT guy will ramble on and on for ever saying the same thing the person before them just said, but that guy thinks that if he says it it will make so much more sense, and everyone will be enlightened!
06. I hate that, THAT guy acts like he knows what he's talking about even though he has no clue, and if you even semi challenge him on something he accusses you of attacking him and then throws a pity party and acts like you are the bad guy. And the only reason he acts this way is because hed no answer for your question and this is a serious deflection technique made famous by Wonder Woman with her gold bracelets.
05. I hate that, THAT guy is to stupid to understand how lucky he is that up until this point he hasnt gotten his butt kicked on more than one occassion, I hate that he is too stupid to be scared which makes it even harder not to play "Mr Potato Head" with his face!
04. I hate that, THAT guy thinks he can fix all of your problems by simply telling you what he thinks you should do. And then gets offended if you disagree even though its your life, and he's an idiot.
03. I hate that, THAT guy cries over the stupidest things that in all reality, and I am talking about the real reality the one everybody lives in, have no true impact on his life. and yet he acts like its him who is going through it, man up!
02. I hate that, THAT guy will be a complete a-hole to you, being sarcastic stating the obvious, just being rude, but if you stand up to him, well heavan forbid his world just fell apart cause you were mean to him and he thought you were his friend!
01. And the number one thing that I hate about That guy - Its that he is THAT guy all the freaking time!
Phobia of the day: Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
Number of the Day: 4,732 the amount of times I have wanted to kill THAT guy.
I am starting a new segment called: "Before They Were Famous!"
STEVE CARELL -
Q: What did Steve Carell do before becoming famous?
A: Steve Carell was once a mail carrier but says he quit after a few months because he was "very, very bad at it."
A: In 1996, Steve Carell appeared on the short-lived "Dana Carvey Show" where he voiced Gary in The Ambiguously Gay Duo sketch (before it moved to SNL).
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Why you should never wear a short skirt or tight pants on the train.
This morning was a hard morning for a couple ladies on my train. Let me set the scenario for you,I was on the train, there scenario set.
So the first incident involves a woman who is dressed in a very nice pants suit, with high heels, who was probably in her early thirties now it was obvious her pants were a little too tight, you could tell by the way she took the steps up into the train, side stepping like a penguin, that she knew it as well. She rounded the entrance and stepped toward the aisle when IT happened, her right heel caught in a groove of the floor and her other foot landed in a puddle, causing this odd vortex of flying arms and legs, and when the winds calmed down there she was a pile of human, with her pants split from zipper to belt, oh what a horrible way to realize that going commando was not such a great idea after all. Of course needless to say she was helped to her a feet and once she realized what had happened her face fell into horror and she ran from the train.
And now on to incident number two, I kid you not at the very next stop a young woman, probably in her early twenties, stepped onto the train wearing a very short denim skirt and those wierd flat shoes that look like house slippers but everyone swears that they aren't. I only know that when my grandmother wore them twenty years agothey were called house slippers. But I digress, so she steps in the aisle and she at least makes it a little further than the other lady before she slips on another puddle of water that was made by someones umbrella. This time there was no vortex of human limbs there was only a sharp squeal and her sudden realization, that she could do nothing to stop the fact that she was falling into the splits, and so she hit and rather hard too, and this is when she realizedthat the sesame street underwear she thought was so cute when she bought it was not very attractive when doing the splits.
After that stop when ever someone new would walk on the train everyone who had experienced the other falls seemed to wait with anticipation for the next victim. We were like vultures, it was horrible, I loved it!
Anyways just a word to the wise if you dont want your naughty bits shown to the world then dont go commando, and please choose your cartoon character underwear wisely!
So the first incident involves a woman who is dressed in a very nice pants suit, with high heels, who was probably in her early thirties now it was obvious her pants were a little too tight, you could tell by the way she took the steps up into the train, side stepping like a penguin, that she knew it as well. She rounded the entrance and stepped toward the aisle when IT happened, her right heel caught in a groove of the floor and her other foot landed in a puddle, causing this odd vortex of flying arms and legs, and when the winds calmed down there she was a pile of human, with her pants split from zipper to belt, oh what a horrible way to realize that going commando was not such a great idea after all. Of course needless to say she was helped to her a feet and once she realized what had happened her face fell into horror and she ran from the train.
And now on to incident number two, I kid you not at the very next stop a young woman, probably in her early twenties, stepped onto the train wearing a very short denim skirt and those wierd flat shoes that look like house slippers but everyone swears that they aren't. I only know that when my grandmother wore them twenty years agothey were called house slippers. But I digress, so she steps in the aisle and she at least makes it a little further than the other lady before she slips on another puddle of water that was made by someones umbrella. This time there was no vortex of human limbs there was only a sharp squeal and her sudden realization, that she could do nothing to stop the fact that she was falling into the splits, and so she hit and rather hard too, and this is when she realizedthat the sesame street underwear she thought was so cute when she bought it was not very attractive when doing the splits.
After that stop when ever someone new would walk on the train everyone who had experienced the other falls seemed to wait with anticipation for the next victim. We were like vultures, it was horrible, I loved it!
Anyways just a word to the wise if you dont want your naughty bits shown to the world then dont go commando, and please choose your cartoon character underwear wisely!
Phobia of the Day: Trains, railroads or train travel- Siderodromophobia.
Number of the Day: 12
Where are they Now: Joff Cohen Chunk from Goonies
Then: Cohen did the rounds of '80s TV sitcoms ('Webster,' 'Facts of Life') before being tapped to play Lawrence "Chunk" Cohen, the pudgy, ice cream-loving, tall tale-telling Goonie who redeems himself by pledging devotion to the sweet deformity known as Sloth. ("I'm gonna take care of ya ... because I love ya.")
Now: 'Goonies' was Cohen's only film role, but he never really left Chunk behind. As an undergrad at UC Berkeley, he ran for office (and won) on a "Chunk for President" platform and amused students by doing the Truffle Shuffle at football games. He's now a slimmed-down entertainment lawyer at Cohen & Gardner in L.A.
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